Many of you might not know what my journey has been like and I thought it was about time to share 🙂
It hasn’t been until recently that I have ever truly felt beautiful inside and out in my entire life. For as long as I can remember I did my best to be perfectly content with being the “funny friend” or the girl who would never meet the man of her dreams. I would make jokes about my eating, my weight, and play it off like I didn’t care. I kept lying to myself that I wasn’t capable of so much, nor was I worth the effort.
This mindset only continued. Soon I was 21 and letting myself stay for almost 3 years in a verbally abusive and manipulative relationship that destroyed not only my outside appearance but completely stole who I was and any self-respect I had. After finally deciding with every OUNCE of will that I had in me to get away from that life, I moved into my own apartment and started my new journey; finally creating a life for ME.
About a year or so later, at the edge of 23, I lost my Father, a man and a person to who this day, I truly believe understood me more than anyone else ever has (and perhaps ever will). And while that would have been the perfect excuse to give up and stop caring, it only FUELED me more. His strength continues to carry me on a daily basis ❤
When I post pictures of my progress, I’m sure a lot of people think it’s purely out of vanity but for those of you who have gone through a transformation, big or small, I know you understand how it is SO much more than that. I won’t argue that compliments are enjoyable but it’s the energy I radiate now, the smile I never used to have, the way my eyes light up and how in touch I am with my mind and soul now that brings tears to my eyes when I think about how hard I’ve worked to get here.
But before you say “I just don’t like working out” or “I couldn’t do that” or “wow you’re lucky” stop. Because you are JUST as capable, we all are.
Sometimes I am so scared to tell people I’ve lost over 50lbs, I worry about how they might judge me, how they might squint their eyes at my old appearance and before pictures. But I can’t take shame in that. Who I used to be and who I’ve become are ALL a part of me and I love every ounce of my being as I grow and continue to transform into Sarah Rose.
But don’t get me wrong. It’s still such a process and I often can’t see what others might.
I still go to the mall and pick out sizes that are entirely too big for me and am dumbfounded when they hang off of me in the dressing room. I still cry and feel over 200lbs like I used to be. Sometimes I look in the mirror and still see that old Sarah.
I can only continue to exercise my mind along with my body.
Thank you all for your continual support, you have absolutely NO idea how much it means to me and how much it continues to motivate me.
❤ You truly cannot fail if you never give up.