My Struggles

I’ve decided that every now and then I’ll be doing some more personal blog posts.  Sometimes we can look at celebrities and their weight loss, before and after pictures of random people who completed p90X and although it’s amazing, there’s no personality behind it. What did this person go through? What was their thought process? How many times did they want to give up? How many cheat days did they secretly have that involved pizza?

So I’m owning up. My 30 Day Shred progress was AWESOME. And I received a lot of awesome and encouraging support along the way, from the bloggers, from my friends on FB, you name it. Then I moved into a new place and got caught up in some bad habits. The Jillian Michael’s workouts trailed off and I’ve gained back some of the inches I worked SO hard to lose. Chances are that those people in the before and after pictures have went through the same thing.

For weeks now I’ve felt like a complete failure. My boyfriend gets back from his deployment soon and I haven’t met all those crazy goals I wanted yet. Part of me really wanted to just GIVE UP. But today I’m staying positive and focusing on all the things I’ll need to do in order to make this happen. This is the next phase.

I think it’s important that we all realize and embrace these moments of what may feel like complete failure. Losing weight, getting in shape, changing our lifestyles, these are HARD things to do. And I don’t think enough people talk about how hard it is. Infomercials try to advertise easy ways to lose weight and we all know they don’t work and aren’t sustainable. It’s also easy to look at DVD programs and think all they had to do was stick to something for 30-90 days and that’s it! It is true, that IS it, and all you have to do, be consistent. But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard. Be PROUD of all your accomplishments. You didn’t stop at the store on the way home to get ice cream, you went to bed on time, you may have had some dessert but you had LESS than you might have had otherwise. These are ALL steps in the right direction.

It’s also important to realize what triggers us to overeat, to indulge, to literally stop caring about our bodies. Have you ever punished yourself with food? You know what I’m talking about. You eat something you know is bad, that will make you feel bad, guilty, awful about yourself. You may even KEEP eating after you’re past that point of feeling awfully full. Our minds have to be on track WITH us in this. This isn’t just a body thing, this is a mentality thing.

I’m now going to share with you what to me, is horrifying. Back in 2010 I was depressed and I didn’t even know it. I had been in a two-year relationship that was slowly tearing me apart, mentally and physically. I had gained close to 50lbs and I had never been an obese person before. I got up to 211 pounds which is STILL hard for me to admit. When our minds aren’t happy and healthy, it SHOWS on our bodies. You make time every day to eat healthy and workout right? Or you are going to start. Make time for your MIND as well. Take time every day to reflect on WHY you are happy. I think that the more you write down your accomplishments and what you are thankful for, the happier and more motivated you will be. Go home and make a thankful jar and write something for it every day!

So I’m going to stop hiding from my blog out of fear that I’ve taken a step backwards. Really, I think I needed this reality jolt to get my head back in the game JUST where it needs to be. So let’s move forward, let’s not judge ourselves so harshly, let’s be consistent and stay on course, realizing we are all human and we can all have nachos every now and then to keep our sanity in check 🙂

I’ll leave you with a picture of me back in 2010 when I was at my heaviest and at my lowest mentally. And a picture from this past weekend, where I’ve never felt happier in my life. I think it shows. A lot of people make comments on other before and after pictures saying “there’s NO way that’s the same person, look at their face!” But honestly, a lot can change with a person’s face just by how happy they are. Stay with it!